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"What she didn’t know isn’t worth knowing, apparently." —Lenard-Cook
Bob, Bob’s mother, and I recently attended a small holiday dinner at the home of some good friends. As we didn’t know either of the other couples, I was looking forward to getting acquainted. Little did we know that we would all learn practically everything about one woman—and little about each other. As Bob’s mother noted the next day, “What she didn’t know isn’t worth knowing, apparently.”
Among the things Talking Woman doesn’t know are that is that she—an aspiring writer—had dinner with an oft-published writer, teacher, editor, and Authorlink columnist. She doesn’t know that the Lonely Writer, too, taught college English for many years, that the Lonely Writer’s husband is an accomplished blues guitarist and her mother-in-law a jazz pianist; she doesn’t know how long we’ve lived in New Mexico, where we’re from, if we have any children, what our opinions are (about anything), or whether any of us have ever participated in NaNoWriMo. We know all this, and more, about her. Or rather, the Lonely Writer does, because the Lonely Writer is a listener, one of the primary skills a writer should possess.
"Writers listen rather than interrupt." —Lenard-Cook
Talking Woman says she is a writer (she’s lots of other things, too—or, at least, she says she is), but the Lonely Writer begs to differ. The Lonely Writer is as eager as you are to learn new and interesting things, and yes, some of what Talking Woman had to say was interesting. Unfortunately, she had so much to say that it all became lumped under dross. Writers, on the other hand, engage in conversation rather than monologue. Writers ask others questions, because they are interested not only in what they might learn, but in other people. Writers listen rather than interrupt. Writers always begin with the assumption there is something they don’t know, not that they already know more than anyone else about absolutely everything.
The Lonely Writer should add that, Talking Woman aside, the dinner and companionship were lovely. Once it became clear Talking Woman was never going to take a breath, the rest of us managed to carry on a few quiet side conversations—until she heard the topic and rushed in to carry it away, that is. In fact, I liked all the others so much, I hope I’ll have the opportunity to see them again—without Talking Woman sucking all the air from the room.
". . . take a breath and remember that writers listen and converse, while talkers simply natter." —Lenard-Cook
TThe next time you feel compelled to talk rather than listen, take a breath and remember that writers listen and converse, while talkers simply natter. That’s why I’d love to hear your thoughts. Join the conversation at Authorlink’s Facebook page.
PEN-short-listed author Lisa Lenard-Cook’s most recent book is The Mind of Your Story: Discover What Drives Your Fiction (Writer’s Digest), which originated in her columns for Authorlink. With Lynn C. Miller, she’s co-founder of ABQ Writers Co-op (abqwriterscoop.com), a creative community for New Mexico writers, and co-editor of the literary magazine Bosque. She’s on the faculty of the Santa Barbara Writer’s Conference and the Board of Narrative Art Center in Santa Fe. Website: lisalenardcook.com
